Have you ever asked your child what's wrong, only to get an “I don't know” or “Nothing” in response? Maybe they've been having more tantrums than usual, struggling at school, or acting differently after a big change at home. You can tell something is bothering them, but getting them to talk about it feels impossible.

As parents, we naturally want our children to tell us what's wrong so we can help. But the truth is, younger children don't always have the words to explain what they're feeling.

That's one reason therapy for young children often looks a little different from what we might expect. While adults typically sit down and talk through their feelings, children often communicate through something much more familiar to them: play.

Why Talking About Feelings Isn't Always Easy for Kids

Think about what happens when you have a stressful day. You might call a friend, vent to your partner, or talk through what happened to feel better.

Now imagine asking a four or five-year-old to do the same thing.

Young children are still learning how to recognize, understand, and express their emotions. They might know they're upset without really understanding why. Instead of saying they're feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or disappointed, those feelings might come out as crying, yelling, withdrawing, or refusing to cooperate.

That doesn't mean they aren't capable of working through difficult emotions. It simply means they may need a different way to express them.

Play is a natural part of childhood, and research has shown that it supports emotional development, communication, problem-solving, and relationships. Through play, children can explore experiences and feelings that might be difficult to put into words.

So, What's the Difference Between Play Therapy and Talk Therapy?

When most people think of therapy, they picture someone sitting in a comfortable chair, talking to a counselor about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

And for many adults, teenagers, and older children, that's exactly what therapy might look like.

But imagine asking a five-year-old to sit on a couch for an entire session and explain why they've been feeling frustrated or anxious. For many young children, that can feel overwhelming, uncomfortable, or simply boring.

Play therapy takes a different approach.

Rather than relying entirely on conversation, therapists may use toys, games, drawing, storytelling, or pretend play to help children express themselves and work through challenges.

For example, a child who's having difficulty adjusting to changes at home might act out different family situations using dolls or figures. A child who struggles with frustration might practice handling disappointment through a game.

These activities give therapists opportunities to better understand what a child may be experiencing while helping them develop healthier ways to cope.

And while it might look like the child is just playing, there's much more happening beneath the surface. Play therapy involves intentional activities and interactions guided by a trained professional.

Why Play Can Help Children Open Up

One of the biggest benefits of using play in therapy is that it allows children to communicate without feeling pressured to find the right words.

Think about how easily children can get lost in imaginative play. They might create elaborate stories with stuffed animals, build entire worlds with blocks, or pretend to be teachers, parents, or superheroes.

Play creates opportunities to explore different situations, practice problem-solving, and make sense of emotions in a way that feels familiar and comfortable.

In therapy, these moments can also help children practice important skills.

For example:

• Children struggling with anger may practice managing frustration, taking turns, and handling disappointment through games.

• Children experiencing anxiety may explore their worries through stories or pretend play while learning ways to feel more comfortable.

• Children adjusting to divorce or family changes may use creative activities to express feelings they haven't been able to explain.

• Children having trouble making friends may practice sharing, communicating, and solving problems through interactive activities.

Of course, not every game or drawing reveals something significant about a child's emotions. Therapists look at the bigger picture, including the child's behavior, experiences, and individual needs.

The idea is to create a space where children can work through challenges without feeling like they're being questioned or put on the spot.

Does That Mean Talk Therapy Doesn't Work for Kids?

Not at all!

Talking can still be an important part of therapy for children, and many therapists combine conversation with play-based activities.

As children get older, they generally become better at recognizing their emotions, explaining their experiences, and understanding the connection between their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

This can make more traditional talk therapy helpful, especially for older children and teenagers.

However, every child develops differently. Some younger children are comfortable talking about their feelings, while some older children still benefit from drawing, games, and other hands-on activities.

There's no one-size-fits-all approach.

What matters most is finding a way for each child to feel comfortable, understood, and supported.

How Do You Know If Your Child Might Benefit From Therapy?

It's completely normal for children to experience occasional tantrums, fears, friendship problems, and difficult days. Growing up involves learning how to handle big emotions, and that process isn't always easy.

But sometimes, those struggles become more frequent or begin affecting everyday life.

Maybe your child has become unusually withdrawn, worries constantly, has difficulty separating from you, or seems angry and frustrated much of the time. Perhaps they're struggling with changes at home, having problems with peers, or showing behaviors that are becoming harder to manage.

You don't have to wait until things reach a breaking point to ask for help.

Getting support early can help children build emotional awareness, learn coping skills, and develop healthier ways to respond to challenges.

And seeking therapy doesn't mean something is wrong with your child. Sometimes, children simply need extra support as they learn to navigate experiences and emotions they don't yet know how to handle.

Parents Are Part of the Process, Too

One thing parents sometimes wonder about is how involved they'll be in their child's therapy.

While it's important for children to build a comfortable, trusting relationship with their therapist, parents often play an important role in supporting progress.

Depending on your child's needs, a therapist may share strategies you can use at home, help you better understand certain behaviors, or suggest ways to respond when your child is feeling overwhelmed.

For example, you might learn new ways to help your child calm down during a meltdown, encourage them to talk about worries, or handle frustrating situations more effectively.

The goal isn't just to help your child feel better during therapy sessions. It's to give them skills they can use in everyday life, with the support of the people who care about them most.

Helping Kids Express Themselves in Their Own Way

Children experience many of the same emotions adults do. They feel anger, sadness, fear, frustration, and disappointment. The difference is that they may not yet have the words or skills to explain those feelings.

That's why therapy shouldn't necessarily look the same for a five-year-old as it does for a fifteen-year-old.

By meeting children where they are, therapists can help them feel comfortable expressing themselves, understanding their emotions, and learning healthier ways to cope.

At Long Island Behavioral Health, we work with children ages 4 and up, as well as adolescents and teens. We understand that every child is different, and our goal is to provide a supportive, child-centered environment where children can feel comfortable working through their challenges.

Whether your child is struggling with anxiety, behavioral concerns, family changes, social difficulties, or other emotional challenges, we're here to help.

To learn more or schedule an appointment, call 631-551-5095 or e-mail office@longislandbehavioralhealth.com.